Wednesday, January 21

Did Someone Say

After a year such as I've had I can't imagine what the next 12 months has in store. For those of you in the know, I don't need to elaborate in regards to my occupation and ever-changing workplace. For those of you who don't know, well, all you need to know is that on a base level I'm a chef. But I'm many other things too. But for the most part, a chef.


After taking a massive gamble and moving interstate with the missus and our five animals I honestly believed for the first six months that I had made a huge mistake. My previous boss and workmates were like family and our place of business was almost perfect. The only reason I decided on a change is because I was promised that this new opportunity would afford me more of a challenge. And boy was I wrong!


Thankfully my partner gave me a great deal of time to find my groove and sort of fit in somewhere in the background. She dealt with the late nights I'd be up complaining, ranting and raving about the idiots I worked with and the dated equipment I had to use. She also dealt with the lonely nights I was out of the country or on promotional and trade based courses. She even had to deal with me when I came home after being forced to stay awake from 80hrs with little more than a banana, some lollies and half a sandwich to eat.


Then when I thought I'd somehow faded into the background I was thrown screaming and kicking into the lime light of my whole sub-organisation after being awarded one of the most major commendations anyone could receive at my level in the entire organisation. Within the same breath I was given a promotion. It was all so much. All year I had just done my job to the absolute best of my abilities, whilst keeping atop my personal administration. No more than what I believed was expected of me.


So, suddenly I was that guy. Everyone in the sub-organisation knew me. Although I didn't mind the sudden celebrity status it was all quickly rushed away from me once I realised I now held a more senior role. Up until that point I had been told what to do by incompetent junior leaders who cared more about themselves and in-fighting than their actual job. I could now finally say something without fear of being told to 'know my place'.


At first I was given little responsibility, then after proving it to be little of a challenge I was heaped with the responsibilities of more senior roles. Again, I relished in the challenge. Even if I was at work an extra two or three hours every day. On top of my sudden shift in roles I began to emphasize my personal fitness, eventually leading to me burning out in the closing days of the work calendar. However, for my efforts I was given a second commendation, this time the highest anyone could achieve in my trade in the sub-organisation.


Now that the holidays have passed and the rest period is over I start the new year a little sore and numb. A week of basic physical training and mandatory lectures on workplace policies has left me with little time to consider the months that will follow. We now have more people in my immediate area, and most importantly some fresh faces. The year so far has started off far better than last year. And knowing I've hit the heights of my career inside this organisation I can just continue to do what I've done from the last 4 years; do my job to the absolute best of my abilities.

Saturday, August 9

Thursday, April 3

Goodbye, Hello

Introducing a new member of the family.

Paid in full.




Drives like a dream.

Never have I had a possession I've admired more.

Sunday, March 16

Someone Like You

It's been a long while since I've said your name. Just thinking it now feels weird and as distant as you are, figuratively and literally. Still, I remember where I was when I first realise that you'd cut me from your life. My initial reaction was confusion. I wasn't even mad, just surprised. There was no need for an explanation, I knew exactly why. And I'm glad you did because I mighten have.

For some time now I've been incredibly fearful of happiness. The thought of being secure within myself and my homely surroundings has been somewhat scary. But for the last two years I have slowly but surely come to accept that maybe I finally deserve this. While in the back of my mind the thought of pending gloom lingers it isn't as loud anymore.

I was certain that you were the one for me. We had so much in common and yet we were so unique. It seemed like we were the only two in this world that understood us. Lately, I've come to understand that having little in common is often a good thing. You learn to like new things and grow to share your interests with someone else. And to think, I tried pushing this life away to pull yours in. Just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.

There is no hate in my heart. I'm not even disappointed anymore. I no longer wait for the inevitable email explaining why you cut me from your life. It has gotten to a point where I wouldn't even read it. Come to think of it, I often forget I have a personal email address, or this particular space to share my thoughts to the world. My life has evolved into something I never could've imagined or wished for.

Not five years ago I had little to call my own, now I have a many number of things. Possessions that I have rightly earned. Within my newfound profession I have excelled far greater than I expected in such a short period. A job that has had me see many, many places. While I'm housebound by choice in my own time my work and my readiness to do it anywhere has taken me far and away.

Maybe I was the problem. For a long period of time you were. No one around me knew just how deep down I was holding onto the thought of who you were. But you weren't that person at all. You were so afraid of being yourself. You probably still are. I no longer care. We're both too old to waste any more precious time trying to figure it out.

While this job has taken a great physical toll on me I still love it. And I love the life it affords me. Not only have I met my wife to be through my trade but I have been gifted with a healthy savings account, a sturdy vehicle and five beautiful pets. I even have a tool box and a book case with actual books. Ten years from now I want to be able to say that little has changed.

Its been a long while since I've said your name. Thankfully I'll never need to again. I just hope you can say the same.

Friday, January 17